Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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