i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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