I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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