A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
