Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
