Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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