tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
