I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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