I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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