Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
