so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We just shotgunned beers for America
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
