Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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