I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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