Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
