Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
