Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
