If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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