Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
