You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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