I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
COCAINE IS GR8
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
