Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
