your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
