on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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