Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
