I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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