So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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