garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
