Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
