I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
