She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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