Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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