Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
