I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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