Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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