I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sext me about skeletons
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
