talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
