yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
