I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm both gender and math confused
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
