so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
