Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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