You really coming over, don't trick.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
