Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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