One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
