Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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