hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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