And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
