It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
