Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
