well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize