I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
