When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
