I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
