u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
