I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
