he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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