You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
