Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
