shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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