dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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