she was so not down for the gang bang
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
