His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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