i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
