I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
