he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
