Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
