The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
